Si Bagak Berlagak

"Kamu ada size 42!?" Dia bertanya dengan garang, sambil mencampak seluar size 38 yang dia baru habis cuba.

"Tak ada," sales-boy yang kurus melidi itu menjawab. Ringkas, tapi saya fikir cukup sopan.

"F*ck!! Bodoh punya kedai!!" Lelaki gemuk gedombak itu merungut. Dengan muka herot lapan puluh lapan. Saya yang berdiri semeter di belakang, tiba-tiba merasa cuak yang teramat.

Ya, saya faham kenapa dia marah-marah. Bayangkan, seluar jeans berjenama (dan sangat mahal!) ini menawarkan potongan 75%. Unfortunately - there was no available size to cater the need of someone pigly-obese like him. OK, in more than one way - I actually pity him. Honestly.

Apa yang saya tidak faham, why would someone with 42" waistline need to wear something stylishly expensive? Well, I'm not a fatist. Bukan saya mahu mempersenda orang gemuk. Tapi kalau pinggang kamu sama besar dengan ukurlilit guni beras, you should invest more money in getting a decent body shape. Belilah alat-alat senaman yang sesuai. Daftarlah sebagai ahli dalam mana-mana kelab gym yang berdekatan. Bukan sibuk menghabiskan duit dengan pakaian-pakaian mahal. At the end of the day, with that kind of extremely-out-shaped body - even in the most-stylish-custom-made jeans by Gucci, you would be still look fugly. Yes, fat and ugly. So, what's the point?

I'm not talking about being merely overweight here. I do have many friends with not-so-desirable body, shape-wise. But most of them are quite fit and healthy. Daging badan diorang walaupun berlemak, tetap nampak pejal. They look huge, but it's also visibly clear that they are comfortably strong to carry their entire body mass. In futsal game, you would see them easily outplaying these 20-kg-lighter players. So bottom line: "being fat and being fit" can actually co-exist. Depending on how you choose your own life-style.

The case for this guy I met at the shop, is more than just plain obesity. Lelaki yang marah-marah ini, sudahlah bagak gedombak, lembik pula. Saya boleh nampak lebihan lemaknya yang flabby melendut-lendut. He can hardly get his fat a$ moved around. And yet, dia ada hati mau pakai seluar jeans yang trendy-trendy. More shockingly, in a very shameless manner, he dared to publicly bitch and get angry over something caused by his own extreme fatness. Ini yang buat saya cuak. Macamlah orang lain yang bersalah menternak dan menggemukkan badan dia.

Hoi si bagak, if you happen to read this, then you know what is your most timely-appropriate resolution for the new year...