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Writings > Short Story > Love

Nak.. Janganlah Hilang

Previous short story:
Because She Felt Betrayed
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An angel...a devil?

I was sitting on a bench that evening.  Breezy, as always. As I looked down at the smooth traffic of red ants highway on the ground, the breeze blew my hair away and covered my right side of eye. What a blissful feeling.

 It was the third day of staying in Amman after travelled 13 hours from KL-Doha-Amman of journey. The five of us woke up late with Dad went to UN office early in the morning. As I walked sleepily to the outside attached bathroom, Mak and Abang were taking breakfast, having camera in their hands.

 I replied their glances and grinned stupidly.

 The trip from Zuhayr Matar Street, our house to 5000 years-old King’s Highways was one of the memorable journeys heading to the ancient city of Madaba, “The City of Mosaics”. I took out the blue diary and scanned the last line from the previous page.

5 hours of journey to Petra provided sufficient time for me to start a new line of story.

 “ I told him that I am leaving today. I love you. He replied I love you too (3, 4,5)”. I hummed to John Denver’s Leaving on the Jet Plane and my heart started gaining rhythm abnormally.

 So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
Cause I’m leaving on the jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh baby, I hate to go

I reread the previous page over and over again. Smirking but I liked where the lyrics are heading. And so I continued…

 I first met a guy who changed my life when I was 24 years old. It was probably the craziest date of my life, but also a turning point. I went home from school; it was a new message in the inbox.

 “Jumpe kamu kat Tesco lps smyg Jumaat”.

 I rushing walked to the bathroom to shower. Little did I knew that I haven’t ironed my blue blouse and scarf yet. I needed “blues” to sooth the restless heart as I looked at the clear blue sky outside of my window. Hyperventilate. I grabbed the keys and started the engine.

 Traffic jam was not unusual thing happened here. I checked my Swatch watch and take a gulp of fresh air and breathed a sigh. I will make it in time, I said to myself. Suddenly a new message popped out from the Motorola screen.

 “Kamu kat mane dah? Sy nak gi isi minyak kete jap. Kete org kan.“

 I let my eyes travelled further as I reached in front of Tesco.

 Yes.

  I saw him.

 And the car skidded.

 I stopped. We arrived at Petra. We sat tiredly on a rock bench. Breezy, as always. There was a smooth traffic of red ants highway on the ground of Siq, a long and narrow chasm in the rock. Its way for almost a mile (1.5km)  with steep inclining sides that come close to meeting 656ft (200m) above.

 Suddenly the Siq opens out onto the canyon floor, dramatically revealing Petra's most famous monument: the Treasury, or Al-Khazneh, intricately carved into the solid rock of the pink mountain face and stands 140ft (43m) high. The towering facade was used in the final moments of the film Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

 Moms waved and showed signals of continue walking. I left the red ants highway.

Goodbye.

 Petra was awesome. We continued to visit Wadi Rum, a journey to another world. A vast, silent place, timeless and starkly beautiful. Also known as the Valley of the Moon. Wadi Rum is one of Jordan's main tourist attractions and being the most stunning desertscape in the World. With the Mohamad’s 4x4 Jeep ride  for two hours inside this magnificent desert, I finally managed to take pictures of Bedoiun man with my Bedoiun woman’s dress.

 While looking at the incredible desertscape creatures, again, the song.of Leaving on the Jet Plane made my heart started gaining rhythm abnormally.

 There’s many times I’ve let you down
So many times I’ve played around
I tell you now, they don’t mean a thing
Every place I go, I’ll think for you
Every song I sing, I’ll sing for you
When I come back, I’ll bring your wedding ring.

 I smiled.  I headed back to our Jeep and went home. Tears dropped from my flawless cheek. I wiped the tears and focused back on the sunset outside of the car window.

 Allah, I miss him.

 The next morning, I woke up feeling nauseated. I walked slowly to the kitchen and watched Mom preparing breakfast of “nasi goreng” and full boiled eggs. I helped myself to make 2 cups of mint tea. One was for her with a spoonful of brown sugar and another one was for me with uncounted spoonful of honey. We were planning to go to the Dead Sea on the fifth day. I nodded weakly.

 I took the Sony Camera and scanned the pictures of Jerash U.N.R.W.A Jerash Camp Prep B.S.2 - the Palestine refugee’s camp that we have visited on the second day. The Jerash Camp is one of the poorest camps in Jordan. We visited the Jerash’s Camp Boys School of afternoon session. Since the school is no longer in session, only administration and teachers were at work.

 The teacher had been very welcoming. They were accompanying us to every classroom on every floor. I was surprised at the state of the classroom and the laboratory. The thing that I can conclude from there is, the main facilities in the school just like Malaysia schools 30 years backward. I told mom that nothing is better than Malaysia.

 “TTTtuuuTTT. TTTtuuuTTT”

 I stumbled out of my chairs when I heard of an incoming message tone from the phone.

 It was not him.

 I breathed a sigh. I threw curtain open of the sliding window, and stared outside, at the cubic houses. I felt oddly dreamy, uncertainty lingering in me.

 “It is a beautiful place, but not a place that I can call a home”, I told myself.

 I sat still on my king size bed, and read the last line of the last page.

 “It was a simple date. But I fell in love with him. I did not know why, but all this while he had my faith, all hundred percent of it.  I was nothing if not stubborn -the best trait of mine.

 I paused. The figure of him played in my head. I missed his almond eyes. I liked the way he eyed me when we had our dinner in Tong Juan Restaurant. I walked back to the kitchen and washed a wine glass in the sink. I poured water till half of the glass. And rubbing around the rim of wine goblet.

 Mom looked around and asked what sound was that. I chuckled and spouted lips towards the glass. I remembered that night, he controlled my fingers around the rim because I failed to ring any sound. Well yeah. I remembered every single thing about him especially his stupid jokes.

 “Waktu bile kancil menjadi babi?

 “Tak tau“

 “Bile carik parking, tgh2 kete besar, igt x de kete.. Sekali ade kancil. Babi la kancil ni!

 I met a few guys within these 2 years but none of them could spark my heart just like he did. I want to be with the person that I can’t live without, not the person that I can live with”..

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
And close your eyes and
I’ll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won’t to leave alone
About the time, that I wont have to say.

 I asked God. I cried to God. I prayed to God. Hoping that one day, the pray will be answered. A short conversation with him in the airport before getting on board

 “Kamu nak saya?

Nak… Jangan la hilang”

 .............................................................................................................................................

Happy birthday to my werewolf. May Allah protect you at all times and help you shine in the darkest places whenever you lost your way.. happy merdeka!

 

 

                                                           

                                            

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Previous short story:
Because She Felt Betrayed
Next short story:
An angel...a devil?
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