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Anna and Lan

A crush as in the noun and not the verb is interpreted by an online dictionary as a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate. The definition of crushed which is the past tense of the verb and not the noun of the word crush in the aforementioned dictionary is deform, pulverize, or force inwards by compressing forcefully. Hence the joint word crushed crush can be put in simpler terms as my unrequited intense fascination towards someone out of my league or way, way out of my league.

Well, in my several (a lady never ages and tell, right?) years of living, I daresay, I have had quite a lot of crushes. Believe it or not, my first crush is as early as the age of 8 years old. Well, if truth be told, it is kind of embarrassing. My first crush is one of the many stewards on an airplane we boarded one time. Well, let us just say, he was an extremely handsome and agreeable fellow with impeccable manners (why do I feel like I just quoted one of those historical fiction writers, particularly a Miss Austen?).

            It is suffice to say that he is my first crush due to a number of reasons, one of them being my brief but intense fascination towards him and the other being him someone unreachable, both reasons fit the definition. Another reason is although I saw and met him only once, he left quite an impression on me. At that age of being alien to feelings of like, admiration and adoration, the said steward (even though he made quite an impression, I failed to catch his name or if I did, I failed to have it ingrained in my brain) made me feel, if not all, at least one of those feelings mentioned in prior.

            Hence, if my memory serves me right, he is or was my first crush. If, again, my memory does not fail me, he was one very good looking, actually, scratch that, he was one exceptionally handsome man and was very amiable. I remember seeing him in a halo offering one of his most sincere and brightest smiles (I am sure of it because I was totally mesmerized by his smile) every single time he offered my family and I assistance (as much as I would have loved to claim that he only offered to assist me, I would be lying through my teeth and even be in denial).

            Attributes resulting in him being my first ever crush would include, first and foremost, his bright like a light smile (wait, that rhymes, does it not?), his good nature, charming personality, gentleman-like approaches (he appears almost gallant like heroes on white horses) and beyond doubt, last but not least, his very good looks.

I would have loved to elaborate more on the subject of my first crush, however, since I do not in actuality know him and since I have only had the fortune to meet him once in my life (even if I did wish and hope to see more of him every single time I boarded an airplane of the similar airline company, my wish was not granted), I do not have much to go on with. Hence, on this note, it is suffice to bring to a close that he was my first crushed crush.

Nonetheless, regardless of the number of times we met, I do feel fortunate. It was due to a chance meeting with him that I had an opportunity to know that such a person whom I thought to only exist in fairytales and novels, truly exist in real life as well.  It was also thanks to him that I was introduced to heart-stopping moments (be it only once or twice), the feel of lightness spreading through my chest and light-headedness at his sometimes close proximity. These symptoms, long after I met him, did I know were indicators of someone being in love or in like with someone.

Previous short story:
Anna and Lan

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