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Happier?

 

So, it wasn’t the end of the story yet. It was only the beginning. He looked up and stared into the mirror. Lines of desperation and misery were seen perfectly on his face. He brought his right hand up and touched his cheek. He was aware of those lines. He knew he was unhappy, yet he pretend. He traced his jawbone with his finger, caressing the scar. It would never go away, it would never heal. It would stay there forever to remind him of her. He studied his reflection, his eyes, his nose, his forehead, his lips – all showing his grief.

Your existence here is just a reminder of what I’ll never have.

When did my soul die? He asked himself. It was true that his soul was gone. Gone, forever. It was true that he lost his happiness. The tears he shed every night were kept in a bottle. And every time he cries, he’ll cry and let the tears drop and gather in the bottle. The tears helped him to stand on the ground, he didn’t want to give up. The tears helped him to believe that the world isn’t as cruel as he thought it was. It helped him to be strong.

When will you ever change, Seth?

He studied the wrinkles on his forehead. It was true that he had gotten older. Yet, the tears never stopped pouring. Each night, he’d cry. Sometimes he cries to sleep. In the morning, he’d wake up feeling tired. His eyes would be swollen, and his cheeks would be flushing red.

Stop reminding me that in a thousand years I’ve waited, the only guy who might see me beautiful ended up to be an emotionally deranged psychopath.

“She’s a whore, Seth. She’s nothing but a whore. You deserve better. Someone pretty at least.”

My heart is so fragile, Seth. My heart is so fragile and you broke them into pieces!

He realized it too late. It’s true that everyone who made mistakes only wished they could turn back time, but that could never happen – they knew time could never be reversed, so why do they wish for it? For all the mistakes and wrongs they’ve done, all they wanted was a second chance? Or just to make themselves feel better that for all the wrongs they’ve done, they finally realized they shouldn’t have?

He knew that she was right all along. If he had listened to her, he wouldn’t die this way.

But their time has passed. And the only reminder of her is the scar that he himself wished he hadn’t carved.

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  • 1)

    he try his hardest not to be happy. it's common sense for people to seek pain and enjoying themselves indulge into pain. people is trying to be happy but it seems their subconcious mind want them to be not happy much harder. i guess, we're too screwed up to be happy. we make people suffer over small matter, we hurt each other when we get closer, we ignore what we want to believe (just because others won't believe it), we just try harder to be not happy.

    Then we keep questioning GOD why HE refuse to give happiness to us. Maybe....we should ask ourselves about that. WE'RE the one who refuse to be happy.

    i think, happiness is about forgiving small mistakes. Then we shouldn't be borther by petty things that aren't really worth your worry. see, we already eliminate petty things thus life should be more fulfilled with great things. :)


  • (Author)
    2)

    mangifur darling, i wish u cud summarize that whole thing in a perfect word or line that i cud easily comprehend.

    dang, must be the yummy ikan bilis dat i just had for lunch dat got me so lampi in the head. *grins* 

  • 3)

    hahaha. ok dear, bottom line: men try their hardest not to be happy. don't you think so? 

    ikan bilis? wow whee. sambal ikan bilis? my favourite. :D~ *drooling*


  • (Author)
    4)

    if that's what ur tryin to say then thats a whole new angle to look at it from. but i think lah.. Seth could have been happier if he wasn't too ego and listened to "her" and take a change in his life (whatever the change may be)

    ooo. a gr8 sambal ikan bilis is nearly hard to find these days. but my housemate made the best hmm..how should i call this dish - ikan bilis goreng belacan which i just had tadi *drools*

  • 5)

    exactly what i'm trying to say, seth trying his hardest not to be happy. he just could drop his ego by a notch or two and things would be great. don't you see how hard seth trying not to be happy?

    *drooling* *drooling* you..teasing me with that dish. *drooling summore*

  • 6) korang2 dah abes 'teasing' each other belom? so.. can i step in without interupt anybody? haloOoOo

  • (Author)
    7)

    did seth know he'd be happy if he had listened to her? thats one thing i'd like to ask seth.

    i just had the dish again btw for dinner pulak tadi..ekonomi kan kami ni. satu lauk per-day haha!

    zinggo, the more the merrier kan wahaha! 

  • 8)

    life is about risk. but i think seth know he's following his ego too much. yeah, you know about men and ego right? i think things should be much better if he listened to her. at least, he does his part. no more liability on his shoulder. at least, he will feel much better about him at that moment. at least, he could stay longer with her.

    you should asking him cause it seems he really regreting it.

    ekonomi benor. tp, when you eating good food, you feel happy so tak kisah la ekonomi ke tak, yang penting sedap dan boleh buat kita happy. tak gitu?

    come on la zinggOf, you should join us. :)


  • (Author)
    9)

    now that you've put it that way, yes. men do try their hardest not to be happy when they knew they could. not many men have d ability to know when to listen to their ego and not. haha.

    good food always makes me happy esp when it doesn't cost 50% of my monthly expenditure. 

  • 10) apsal turning to bab food? u make me hungry lah....
    egoistic is man :: no man without ego. althought he pretend he is no an ego man. come on, ego is man,~~~ either he can control or not,

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