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The ordinary story

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I’m so high….the effect of the substance entering my blood vessel is so enthralling…I am so all over the world…The moment I press the plunger of my syringe which I have shared it with many others, I can feel the extravaganza effect  , HIGH is an understatement. 

The story goes back 5 years a go, I was young, too young be ready to face the world. But I was force to explore it not by choice, at least not because I do it for fun…I never knew my parents, I never knew my siblings, I never knew my origin...all I know I was raised by my adopted parents who force me to work in their bar and restaurant. I was never allowed to socialize, to hang around with friends, to grow up as teenagers. The only time I am allowed to be with other human being outside their supervision is when I am in school. But even that,I am too shy, I don’t have the skill to socialize…I am all alone in my own catastrophic world 

Occasionally, I need to take some beating from my father, at least that is what I called him. He drinks a lot and most of the night he is drunk. His business is not running well and he put the blame on me. When I was thirteen, my father was hit by a truck and half of his body is paralyzed. Since then I need to take care of his well being. Not long after that we found that my mother had affair with God knows how many guys. At one point, strangers just come over to my house to have sex with my mother and my father being in the other room. Of course my father would be frustrated and he will let go his anger to me. He will grab what ever he can and throw it to me and curse me with all cursing words ever invented by human being. 

At the age of nineteen, I couldn’t take it anymore, I packed my stuff and ran away. I hit the road at dawn and by night fall I reached the big city. I was alone, broke and have no F&#king ideas on what the hell am I supposed to do… I slept under the bridge that night, shivering due to cold temperature that crept on my skins. My stomach is empty and I was really scared and distressed. The next day I woke up not knowing what to do , then I realized that there is someone else lying beside me.He woke up the moment I decided to leave him and I heard him calling and ask me where do I want to go. Not so sure what to say I just kept mum. Then he start asking on what am I doing here, somehow I feel so comfortable with him and tell him my story. 

Before long we are good friend. He offered me food and introduced me to the city. He taught me how to steal, snatch, and rob...sometime time we also beg and hijack others begger collection. Not like I love what am I doing but that is the only way I know how to earn some cash for me to buy food. All that I can think off is that I need to eat.I need to carry on and move onOne day he introduce me to drugs, I have seen him doing that for days and have been tempted to try base on his explanation of the sensation of it. Since then, I tried everything, you named it...I have tried it, ganja, cocaine, heroin, Lithium aluminium hydride ,Methylamine , monomethylamine, Methylergimetrine ,Nmethylformamide ,Nitroethane, O-Toludine,Calcium Oxide ,Potassium carbonete  ,Amphetamine ,Methampthetamine, Methaqualone, Eremin 5, Rohypnol, Morfin, Kodein, petrol ,glue, cow dug and what ever is that can make me high.I cooked it, sniffed it, swallow it, drink it, jab it…I do everything.

Drug is everything in my life.I am addicted to to it. So I need more cash, I steal and rob more.But I have never been caught.Last year, He fell sick, so sick and died…They said he got HIV, I don’t even know what the hell is that. Now I am all alone in this world. They said I am lost in my own world, I say that is the only thing I know in life

Do I have the option to turn back ? Was it my fault? I don’t even feel that I’m doing anything wrong….Should I be sorry ?

Last week , I collapsed in the middle of the road and the next things I knew Im in the hospital.I was diagnosed with HIV and AIDS, and predicted to have a few more months to live. At midnight stroke I managed to escaped and ran away from the hospital…Damn, I have only few months left and I wouldn’t want to spent my days in hospital.

I go back to my life, more daring then ever. Why should I care , I am dying anyway, even if I live and change, I have AIDS, the society wouldn’t accept me anymore. They are disgusted with people like me….They wouldn’t understand

 

This is my story….would you join me?

 

 If you like this story, please visit http://www.mac.org.my,

In support for Malaysian AIDS council effort 

Previous short story:
Sweat and Tears
Next short story:
Dessert & Cosplay
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