Discordant Constellations

“I woke up…late as usual. There was something unusual—I noticed something unusual I meant to say; I found a smile on my face. I don’t wake up with a smile on my face! I wake up frowning on most days. No not the days I tell myself that I ought to show content and gratitude. It is all in the mind as they say. I do agree with what they say (at times). Back to the dream, It was a dream I remembered I had a dream:

In my dreams we embraced,

Your beautiful smile blossomed,

As all the plants and flowers around followed suit before you,

Your silhouette alone enough in mesmerizing,

In my dreams you were always smiling,

Our souls intertwining,

Happiness seemed overflowing.

Hand in hand our resolves were solved,

The garden was singing its lullaby,

The green haven emits a serene melody,

Refreshing dews beautifully appeared throughout the greenery,

The pure air brought harmony, tranquility and peaceful memories,

We never felt so much at ease.

The atmosphere both calm and blinding, binding us in ecstasy,

The mind has now accomplished goals, dreams and objectives.

He woke up and sat on his bed still drunk from the sheer joy of what he had dreamt. A few floating minutes passed by as tried to compose himself. He stood up and opened the blinds to his windows. The glaring sunlight gushed in and attacked, protruding in with its light, he sheltered his eyes using one of his hands from the fierce glare and heat it brought with it. He then knew it was an abrupt indication, an intervention, a rude awakening. His innocence and naivety to no avail will no doubt do him any good, but he liked to think it was good to be hopeful, a thought he will soon learn to be hurtful.

He was now wide awake. He was forced back into reality; “my soul sucked dried out, the balls they call eyes were dark and rich with signs of anguish and sadness, the afore mentioned protagonist now walked with his head lowered down to his knees;

In reality, there is no such delicacy,

There is no altruism!

Only abhorrence and degradation,

I found discord in the constellations,

The moon turned black as I shift my eyes to it.

In a vast black sea,

I was surviving atop of a wrecked boat,

Hanging for dear life, going from nowhere to nowhere,

Floating aimlessly, the birds that passed by,

Looked down grimacing and laughed at my failing,

The boat began to wither and I began to shiver,

The weather seemed bitter,

I found refuge in shutting my eyes..”

He fell again into another dream, his mind were focused on something that might come as encouraging and uplifting and so he began a journey into what he deemed as actual reality:

The moon was glowing; it’s beauty mesmerizing,

It glows in harmony; never too bright we inhale its light,

A mere reflection of light, nay not the source of light;

It is said so in the book of light.

A mere reflection but too significant,

As we sat on it,

Our hands clasped and our hearts erupted with joy,

The world appeared less challenging,

No one conniving nor anyone interrupting…

All of a sudden, he heard someone pounding on his door, pounding so hard he thought it would collapse the door; troubled he was his dream being tempered; he opened the door putting anger in his eyes. They hurried in and pushed him out. The huge men taught him a lesson and when they were done, the leader shouted, “Go away! You lazy dreamer and never to return!” they continued to scorn at him, their eyes bulging out threateningly.

Our protagonist went out seeking refuge and solace, positive and hopeful dependent on his friends. One by one they took of their masks and revealed their true selves; on their forehead, it was written, ‘Fuck off!’ our protagonist noticed something smaller and longer written beneath it, he moved closer and read the smaller description, he read, ‘only for the self and no one else if the self has nothing to gain then go fuck yourself!’ with that he understood about them. Similarly, all of his friends had the same words written on their forehead.

He continued walking until he couldn’t take it and dropped to his knees; he lifted his hands in the air and moved it to his back and reached for his shoulder blades. He proceeded to pull out two fierce blades, looking sharp to its core. From that day on he was wary with people and the mask they sew on their faces.

His journey continued on and on until he reached deep into the deepest forests. Until one day, he came across a magnificently huge tree. He looked at it and immediately decreed, ‘this will be my new home.’ He began cultivating it into his house, he brought up pieces of wood, sticks and other materials high on the great tree, he had to climb up at least 100 meters up to built his nest where it was nice, safe and comfy. He used his blades to carve and shape the woods. He did this for more than a couple of months diligently with very little sleep.

Finally when he was done building his home that could house a small family. He finally felt he could slumber comfortably without any worries and entered his bedroom to get some long awaited sleep.

Before he slept he said to himself, ‘I sit on the moon from afar and see; you rejected me like the sun’s scorching heat. The moon is white and so are you; but light and skin is not the same thing, your fair skin does not make you a nobler being. White can be pure, white can be clean, but whites are mostly evil beings.’ Then he drifted off into becoming a different being:

I found strength in myself,

Hope flourishes through my chest,

My spirit overwhelmed by self-worthy,

Alone I stand with capability,

I need not to be accepted,

For I have acceptance and you misguidance,

I am free now in my dreams,

Though I dread and I continue to fret,

The moment of awakening,

The eyes opening—the trials beckoning.