A Happy Story

    Two great friends, Ted and Todd, were walking down the street in Lala Land. They met robbers and monsters and perverts, but they were not scared because they got each other. If Ted was in trouble, Todd would help him. If Todd was disturbed by insane bitches, Ted would kick their asses. So they were not afraid of robbers and monsters and perverts.

    They walked and walked and walked and they lost each other. Ted was so scared, he called out Todd’s name. In the same time, Todd was calling out Ted’s name. They called and yelled and later, they screamed. At last, Ted found Todd and Todd found Ted. They laughed at each other for their foolishness and continued to walk.

    They looked around, didn’t know where they were. They were so anxious that they sweated and cried and hopped around like bunnies. The sky had turned amber red and later, dark blue. Ted and Todd sat on the happy grassy ground and leaned on each other. The Moon was smiling and the stars were dancing around her. They were the gloomiest creatures in the whole Lala Land, like a squashed lemon in a glass of tasty, icy honey lemonade.

    Waiting and waiting and waiting. Two weeks had passed. Ted and Todd were so hungry. Kind-hearted Ted looked at Todd. Hungry Todd looked at Ted’s pale countenance. Ted suggested Todd to eat his thin, but yummy-looking arms so he wouldn’t die of hunger. Todd agreed with Ted’s great idea and started pulling Todd’s two crispy arms off. They came out as easily as splitting a melting chocolate bar.

    He got into it and burped for 4 seconds when he was done. Ted smiled at Todd and Todd smiled at Ted. They were happy again. Another two weeks passed. Dying Ted looked at Todd. Thirsty Todd looked at Ted’s yellow and waxy countenance. Ted suggested Todd to eat him whole, excluding his head because Ted wanted Todd to remember his face forever, for he was tired and he was going to die. Todd agreed without hesitation and started to tear Ted apart, thinking what a great friend Ted was. Todd chomped and chomped and chomped and drank Ted’s blood. Todd was satisfied and burped for 8 seconds without stopping.

    Four happy weeks passed and Todd got hungry again. Todd looked at Ted’s distorted head, but Ted didn’t look back at him. Maggots were crawling out of Ted’s squishy eyeballs and his mouth smelled like shit. Todd ceased to like Todd and tossed Ted’s head up on a tree. Maggots fell off from Ted’s eyeballs and landed on Todd’s head.

    Since he was hungry, he grabbed the pinky maggots and put them into his mouth. He chomped and yellowish juice flew out from his mouth. It tasted like juicy orange and wax. He swallowed. He looked up at the sky. He saw The Moon smiling happily as always and the stars dancing as exotic as Mata Hari used to be. He smiled back at the Moon and gave her the middle finger. He closed his eyes and died like a stray dog on the street.

                                                THE END