One Fine Evening

'Did you ever say yes to a pleasure? Oh my friends, then you also said yes to all pain. All things are linked, entwined, in love with one another. What does not kill me, makes me stronger.'

                                                                      Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

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A dark grey car came to a stop in front of the house. The headlights dimmed but the engine continued running. Inside, Anisa wrapped her pink pashmina around her carefully. She inhaled deeply. The sweet, clean scent of the car filled her nostrils. It had been a wonderful evening and everything was coming to an end. Adam observed her as she patted her hair and proceeded to gather her belongings. So poised, naïve and a little bit strange, Adam felt he was bursting to the seams with emotion. Now was right. It was perfect.

Anisa turned to look at Adam. He looked back at her intently, a semi-smile playing on his lips. “Thank you for the wonderful dinner, Adam,” she said quietly. He nodded back and smiled in reciprocation.

She looked into Adam’s eyes. Even in the shadowy darkness of the car she could sense him looking at her intently, like a midnight owl: its sight set on a delectable prey. On the surface he seemed totally harmless; quiet and calm yet he possessed the uncanny ability to smoothly leave a lasting impression on her. He had indeed managed to become a fixation for Anisa who by now was hopelessly besotted.

“However, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

Any surprise or shock Adam may have felt by this statement did not register on his face. He allowed her to carry on facing her directly. One arm rested on the steering wheel, the other propped up against the seat of the car.

Anisa averted her gaze. “I just don’t know where this is going Adam. I just don’t know. I feel so much for you but with you it’s impossible to tell. I’m just beating myself up over this, and honestly – it’s killing me.”

Anisa sighed. Adam observed her as she went from looking tearful to sad to frustrated. She was biting her lip so hard it looked as if it would bleed. ‘No, that wouldn’t do,’ thought Adam. His hand instinctively reached over to prevent her from doing so. She turned to him, startled.
 
“Adam,” she pleaded. “No. Don’t do that. Don’t pretend to care or show tenderness as if we were more than friends when you give me no indication of wanting that at all! It makes me even more confused. I’m asking you, please. Just tell me now and spare me the pain so I don’t end up getting more involved only to find out you had no intention of…”

Adam’s arm hung in mid-air and upon hearing Anisa’s outburst, he hesitated and let his arm fall to his side. They had been going out for about eight months now. He thought he had understood roughly her wants and needs by now. But, no. Women were such difficult and complex creatures to understand. ‘What the #$%! is this woman talking about??’ thought Adam.

“I’ve never done this before. Pursued; as to speak pursued someone as I have pursued you. And honestly, I do feel as if I am making a complete idiot of myself – calling you, asking you out – wanting to be with you and spend time with you but you – you seem fine whether I do or whether I don’t.”

Adam tilted his head ever so slightly and raised an eyebrow. He took a shallow breath, and held it. He then breathed out ever so slightly. This woman that he cared for seemed to obviously be getting quite upset. ‘Perhaps she needs a hug,’ he thought. ‘That usually works and perhaps she’ll calm down enough to let me talk,’ he pondered. He proceeded to draw closer to Anisa. She gasped and confusedly pushed him away.

“Adam, are you listening to me??! Do you understand what I am telling you?? I feel I am a total fool for expressing myself, my feelings to you in this way but really; life is too short. Life is just too short to play games. I won’t be around here forever and neither will you. So why waste it, why put up with the pretence? Please Adam, stop staring at me and not say anything. Just tell me, will you? Will you??!”

It was beginning to dawn on Adam that any form of physical comforting that night would be rebuffed. ‘Strange,’ he thought. ‘Usually she seems fine. What’s got into her?’ Now it was his turn to sigh. He thought they had had such a great evening and he was set on turning it into a very memorable one. After all, it was to mark her recent promotion and he had agreed to go out with her, to spare some time for her from his busy schedule. He sighed again.

“Anisa…” he began.

“Look, just forget it, OK? You obviously have no intention of telling me. It’s OK Adam, it’s OK. I don’t want to know anymore. Just leave me alone. I don’t ever want to see you again, OK? Goodbye!!” Anisa literally yelled.

“But, Anisa…”

She shoved the door open and made her way out and slammed the door behind her. Adam was left staring at a now empty seat and looking at the behind of a slender woman storming her way back to the front door of her house. Adam just shook his head. He propped a hand under his chin and looked thoughtfully in the opposite direction. And this was why he did not want to get involved with the crazy species called a woman. He dug into his pocket and took out a small dark blue felt encased box. ‘Oh well,’ he thought, and chucked it out the window.

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