Chapter V: MY AMERICAN PIE

 

She asked for a memory replacement. Unfortunately she didn't specify. So it was given to her exactly like she wanted and this time, might be just as bad from the previous one. So along came a fellow person. But it was kind of exciting at first because that's what she felt. So she thought, it worked! She did forget about her ex-boyfriend. But you are bad for me, But you are a tumor which now has become a cancer. But it was a false alarm, And if spoken, It is funny. But I'm not laughing. But I hate you. But I'm addicted. But I need you at nights. But I'm new. But he wants someone else. And I shouldn't know lots. Ignorance supposed to be blissful. But I keep knowing. But I can walk away. But my mind stays still. And I am not exactly having fun here But I am sure you are And you don't need me And I wander miles away And I'm thinking And somehow I still want you But you are bad for me She thought this one is a hard one. She wasn't sure of what to do. Could she survive this? She could. Then she wears bikini in her room. She puts on sad songs about heartbreaks. She sings along. She drinks up till she has no more. She thinks, "I want to wear this every night." She, "I always carry this with me. Just in case you know. You nak satu?" He, "Urm…yeah. Okay." I mean OMG! I really said that to a stranger? I actually offered him a condom? Sounded like a slut. But that's not who I am. That was just my alcohol talk. I should really cut down some… This fellow thought I was a freak. She then wished he knows this: 1) I think you are very handsome.
2) You are sometimes funny but most of the time, you are annoying
3) You are better and smarter than you think you are. Just dream bigger.
4) I am more than this. You should join my drama.
5) You should understand me
6) I could be the one
She, "I think I love your smell" He, "You suka perfume i?" She, "I'm not sure if it's your perfume. But you smell nice." He, "You have your own smell too" Yeah…but do you like it? I am not ashamed For I am only human Humans are idiots Humans are stupid Humans get hurt Humans cry Humans are all the same Humans are different She is Ally McBeal with all the crazy fantasies and loneliness
She is Carrie Bradshaw with all the inner thoughts, case of the Ex, wit, and friendship. She is Rachel Green with all the 'easy way out', confusion and dramatic motions She is Marissa Cooper with all the alcohol, drugs, sadness and silence She is Peyton Sawyer with the anger, black tee & short skirt, and music obsession She is Susan Mayers with the funny desperation. She, "Stupid flow!" He laughs She, "Betul lah! Stupid flow! Next time, don't follow the flow" He, "So flow stops here? Tak pergi laut terus ke?" Okay. Fine. All right. Don't worry about me, I'll just drink up Cheers! Cheers to painful past Cheers to the guy I thought I knew Cheers to Bandung vacation Cheers to my stupidity Cheers to my dramatic love story Cheers to you and your loved one She, "kenapa pandang macam tu?" He, "Muka you sedih. I kesian tengok muka you" She, "Wait after Bandung" He, "Kenapa?" She, "It's going to be different." Elevator is really slow Night is extra cold Walk me to my car Why holding hands? Out of pity? I don't need this Don't say anything I could cry. I don't want to cry in front of a guy Start the car Hold me tight She, "Maybe it's your fault" He, "Maybe but.." She, "But what?"
He, "You were never in my plan". She gets back to Damien Rice Therapy, in her room, with Bikini on.

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  • 1) the sadness
    the confusion
    it's sad
    i know i feel sad

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