What a shocker
Committing suicide is just a thought, lately
I keep visualizing scenes from the future
They don’t seem right, most entirely
Surprises? nothing is healed, steady humor
I see them (the future) right before my eyes
I swear I did;
They asked me to stop, whatever it is that I’m doing
No surprise, I didn’t.
Who was that guy I once fell in love with?
What was his name again?
And the other one I thought I was?
What happened to him then?
Sometimes you never listen when I say
You help and help, being wonderful
Let me go to that place
Where heartbreaks don’t matter
You sick thinking I’m not
I admire your faith, it keeps me sane
I live to show you, and then show you how
I am at my best self and surviving shitholes
Okay, will be my last word
Hearing it you’ll nod
The toilet again, and again, and again
I have no more to give or else I’ll die
I probably just need some attention
You’re probably right
I will most probably cut my wrist
Just for you, probably
Can’t cook, can’t decide, can’t clean, can’t give
Can’t be the one you wanted me to be
Depressed and sexy. Sex and depression.
Depressively sexy. Sex in depression.
Normalcy, doesn’t come easy
You wanna compare pain, I’m not in
Too lame and foolish to even care about you
I’m sorry, please leave and keep the secret with you
Get. Me. Out. Or not, not just yet
Let me process my very own instinct
Same settings, same sounds, same substances
In the deepest I hear myself scream
“You…are bad for me!”
I always remember a feeling, just
Grey to black and crimson feeling with warm and sailing feel to it
Sometimes I am ready to come home
But they won’t let me go simply
Then she died with my name not mentioned
At times I cried from sleep to wake
I asked her to come back again
I would like to cry by her side instead
I dig you deeper to find your darkness
I assume you are lonely too
But all evidence to contrary, hence
That’s the door for you to leave
‘Lost souls only’, if not
You’re either a hero or get lost in between
Suicide or not, please be surprised.
I will feel so much better.
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