[an english story taken from my old writing notes - too many grammatical errors, i know, just that im damn lazy to fix them up XD]
I just want to scream.
I received a call at early morning from a friend, saying that she is now in UTP. She came over to my college representing hers for some sort of talks and stuffs. She is the secretary of the highly respected community in oil and gas industry, and i respect her for that as well. And so she informed me whether I am free at any time today since that she was here and maybe a casual outing would do if I can clear my schedule for the day in any way. Im free of course, but there is something about her that actually creates a barrier between this table for two.
She was my ex.
And so I planned to bring her out for dinner, and since that i dont really wanna get too awkward, i invited two of my friends. Dina and Aesha quickly agreed and we straight away planned for the night events. Unconditionally nervous, i tried to calm down and prepared to act profesionally. Since both of us are leaders and we used to be exposed to proper communication manners, I dont think Tasha will get awkward as well.
8.30 pm. I walked down the stairs in calm and headed to my beloved baby. The green-colored Honda was there, right at the place where i left her before the heavy rain this evening. As i rotated the key to ignition, Dina came from my side and greeted this old man as usual. Her dress was simple but stylish. Dina has this kind of style where she can exist as a vogue as possible, and her smiles and laughs always cheer me up whenever that bloody black cloud hovers over me on my bad hair day.
"Are we ready, Jack?" Yeah. Let's go then. I inhaled some big volume of air and gave out a big sigh before reversing the car to fetch Aesha in Village 3 cafe porch.
Aesha came in white long sleeve t-shirt and black pants. 3 up, one more to go. And this last one lady will give me hell of a big anxiety over my ownself. I looked at Dina before i gave Tasha a call to tell her that we're ready to pick her up. Dina smiled in sympathy and nodded her head. It's gonna be it.
"We'll be there in a minute, Tasha."
Miss Tasha, still as gorgeos like the last time i saw her. As tall as a model, she can attract any guy who crosses her path. She is even successful now, and that's what making me proud of her still. Just a simple brown shirt and jeans, she gailed her jacket around her shoulder while fixing her lovely long hair with her firm long fingers. She lost some weight though, and she looked even hotter now. More confident, and more lovely.
God, i really miss this lady.
As she entered the car, her perfume reminded me of the good old days. She still wore the same perfume, and the smell broke my man heart deep inside.
In the car, three of the girls talked and talked and talked while I listened to the radio and shut the hell up. Many things came into my mind. All the fucking memories and all the bloody phenomenal incidents that happened that finally brought us up to a point of no return. Too many memories. Too many sadness and sorrows. As the aircond blew, her perfume killed me slowly inside.
We went to Moven Peak for dinner, and the girls have hell of a nite. Tasha and Dina and Aesha...they seemed to get along together. Which is good though. We had hell long of a chat and laughs. Especially Dina who extremely bossing us out by showing off her skill with chopsticks and cili jeruk. All along, my eyes were on Tasha, and i knew the other two (not Tasha of course) realized that. Well, not that im a stalker, just that i missed my girl too much.
(She was once yours, Jack. She's not anymore now. Get over it.)
Coffee Bean was our next stop, and again we blew the place up with laughters and cheers. i started to get along with the girls and you know, get in the mood slowly. And i started to feel the warmth of Tasha, silently inviting to her intimate space. At a glance, i just knew that somehow the feelings were still there.
But none of us spoke anything about it. Some things are better left unspoken.
Ipoh to UTP seems to be so long, but still i wish it to be longer. I never bring Tasha for dinner before, and i felt guilty for not doing those sweet and nice stuffs that i supposed to do when i with her before. None of us four did really talk, and the journey came out to be the most silent ever. But from the reflection from the street lights, i could see Tasha smiled. The smile which i missed all these times. And i was somehow happy to see it.
She was happy.
Time to say goodbye though. I dropped Tasha at Ruby, and the three girls hugged each other saying goodbyes and take care and all. I leaned over by my car and watched them over. Some sort of feelings catched me and i started to rumble inside. The impersonating enigma of love that was never there striked me. I was thundered with a lot of things, and it all ended when i shaked her hand for the last time. Tomorrow, she will never be there anymore. And fuck Im gonna miss her a lot.
I took a glance at her while she walked back to her room. And we're off to where i belong, each and every of us.
I dropped Aesha off at Village 3, and i parked by the road at Village 5 before walking Dina back to her lair. All the way she said that Tasha was one babe that was worth befriend with. I have to admit it though, since Tasha is still my bst girlfriend ever up to this day. None of the others can match her beauty, internally and externally.
"But some things are just not meant to be, Jack," Dina said in small voice but i knew she meant it.
I walked back to my block using the pavement walkway by the road. I took a look at the stars and i remember this song of Disagree. With a crying heart i sang it out loud:
And if she doesnt go your way
Look up to blue skies and say hey
It's okay. It's okay.
Good night Tasha.
Sometimes life is just great.
I can't sleep since yesterday. Too many things in mind, making my brain worked on actively even though my sugar count was running on low. My body burnt out horribly of heat of my own rage and bursting adrenaline rushing in my veins.
I met Tasha again at around 6.40 in the morning. I promised her a CD which i include many of the newest songs and clips. Since that she's going to leave at 8.00 am, I just wanted to spend some of my precious time with her. I drove my car slowly in heavy fog, heading to Ruby in the old campus area. As i past the lake, i can see the shimmering light telling me that sunrise was to occur in few minutes time. In fact, it has already started.
So there she was, standing while leaning against the metal bars that supports the blocks foundation and load. She was smiling in such a pleasing manner that it actually made me smile as well. She wore a blue lacoste shirt and a blue jeans with a pair of high heel shoes. As i stopped my car and parked a few metres away, she started to make her paces towards me, full with vogueness and elegance.
Hell of a lady, i could see.
I opened the door to let her in and she sat next to me. And again I captured the smell of her perfume. It was not that strong though, but somehow it chained me to moments of silence. Before i start to get really kinky, I handed her the CD and told her to take a look at the contents once she gets to a computer. And i so i just continued talking and talking, and she responded well. Slowly, the mood was set and we're both were into conversation up to a point that we laughed and smiled at each other. And so we realized that still the chemistry is still working.
But I am a changed man now. I am no longer that kid who was once full with passion to fulfil everything life asks from him. I have live a life long enough to see what the world can do to people with dreams. I was torn down, i was hurt. I was slashed to pieces just to learn what mercy means in this real world. I am no longer the kid who believes in life justice and perplexion of happiness. Sadness and sorrow from all the way here taught me to be strong to even shed a tear upon any misery. And slowly the love which once was there slowly faded away and died in total emptiness. I can no longer love, not anymore.
We ended up watching the sun rise from the inside of my car. Not even a word was spoken, it was a total moment of silence. For quite some time we were like that, enjoying our own passion and feelings, exploring each other.
" Maybe you need to go now, Tasha."
Some of the students of whom Tasha has to look after had come out from their blocks and walked to their bus to get ready for the next journey. I went out from my car and opened the other door so that Tasha can go out easily. Well, people might see it as cheesy, but I just stick to the gentlemen code of ethics. Once she was out of the car, i gave her a last smile, and i shook her hand. I could not let her go, as if I wasnted to keep her forever. But I know, that time has already gone. She was no longer the rose that this sparrow owns for himself. She is now free to entertain anyone with her tremendous beauty. Slowly, i let her hand off mine, and we exchanged smile for the last time.
"You take care now Jack."
I turned on my car engine, and with full calm i waved her goodbye. I moved my car slowly so that I can see her from my rear-view mirror. I could see her standing, looking at me from my back. The extreme feelings were killing me slowly as i moved more further from her. Heartful of sorrow, i was. When i took the corner to my left at the cafe heading to the main road, i saw her for the last time waving her slender hands at me. And that was when my heart cried again in the inside. This is it...this will be the last time i will see her around for another couple of months or even years. The chain breaks again for now, until one jolly good time to meet each other once again.
Time passed by so slowly. I wasted the whole day sleeping on my bed. I did not want to even think about it, about her, about everything. When I woke up, it was already sunset. And so i rushed down to my car, started the engine and went off to where I was this morning when the same sun rose. The parking area in front of Ruby was clear. There was no human. There was no bus. No car. Nothing. The silence broke my emotion. I walked out from my car to where i met Tasha this morning, hoping for one crazy thing which no man can make it possible. I walked to the metal bars, expecting to see her smiling at me with her arms wrapping around her body. When i got nearer to the bars, i closed my eyes and opened them again after a few seconds.
But she was never there.
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u must hv lots of hot chickas in UTP right jack? mind to introduce them to me?
- 14 years ago
your comment spoils the mood la, jo
nice story. ah the hurt and pain. it makes you want to commit suicide sometimes. ok that does not come out right.
- 14 years ago
uculer: ok sorry for spoiling the mood.
Jack, say something! <-- refer to my 1st post, kuheh kuheh~!
- 14 years ago
.....where got one...
but trust me...writing brings women closer to you.
eleh jojo...your stories spread like disease here in the campus and yet you're still asking for a girl. ceh. gimme a chance for one dude XD
- 14 years ago
okey, but at least can u plis gv me the Yahoo ID of Dina?
- 14 years ago