Macam Mana Nak Cari Jodoh di Malaysia?

900k ahli di sana sedang mengunggu anda di Baitul Jannah. Mungkin.. jodoh awak ada sana.

Daftar Sekarang!



"Lauren, Lauren."

"Who's that?"

No answer. I picked up my baseball bat and tried to detect the voice. It had vanished. But I still could feel his breathing. His cold breathe on my skin. I also heard him sighing. My hair stood. I looked around. I wanted to scream, but my voice wouldn't let me.

"Come here, Lauren."

"Where are you?"

"Right here, Lauren."


"Just 5 steps away from you, Lauren."

"I can't see you."

"I'm one step closer to you already, can't you see me, Lauren?"

The room was too dark for me to see. The atmosphere was too dangerous for me to be in this room with a stranger. I gripped my bat harder. I'm going to knock that creeper down if he shows up in front of me, I thought to myself.

"Another step closer, Lauren."

"You stay away from me!"

"Another step closer, Lauren. I can even smell the fragrance of your hair, Lauren."

"I'm going to hit you if you take another step."

"One more step and my face will be exposed, Lauren."

I gripped my bat even harder. My hands went numb. Blood flowing through my veins, I could feel it. I was on red alert. If he spoke up, I would smash his head with my bat. Darkness had blindfolded me. I moved backwards. I heard his footsteps, following me.

"Lauren, Lauren."

I lifted up my bat and flung it at that freaky creeper. Nothing happened. I waited for seconds. The voice had vanished, I guessed. I was wrong. The voice was still there. His breathing. His sighing. I could feel it on my skin, cold.

"Lauren, Lauren. Open your eyes. I'm right in front of you, Lauren."

"No! Back off!"

"Can you see me now, Lauren?"

"No! Fuck off! You don't touch me."

"You smell so good, Lauren."

"What are you trying to do?"

All of a sudden, the light turned on. A grotesque-looking creature appeared in front of me.

"Hello, Lauren. How do you like my appearance, Lauren?"

I gasped. He pounced on me and devoured me. His breathing. His sighing. I could feel it on my skin, cold.

He started with my stomach. His sharp nails dug into it and pulled out my intestines. Both large and small, he sucked it all in. I lost conscious, but still breathing. Puddle of my blood, we swam in. We were like two love birds that had been separated for thousand of years and now reunited, we clung together.

"Lauren, this pretty face of yours is going to stay forever in my heart," he lamented. He pulled out my face, licked it and put it into his mouth.

Lastly, my pumping heart. He touched my breast, cut it open with his nails. I was still unconcious, but I could feel the stinging pain. He broke open my breastbone, took out my heart and breathed on it, smelling it.

"Lauren, Lauren, your heart will pump forever inside me. We will live together," he felt my heartbeat on his face, licked it and devoured it.

                                                            THE END

Read the conversation

Related Stories

All Thriller stories

Other stories



Want to join the conversation? Use your Google Account

  • 1) A little expansion can make this one even greater. It's too short, not enough impact to deliver the horror to readers.

    It's like a little 'potong stim', y'know? =P

  • (Author)
    2) okay, i'll try to expand it
  • 3) yep, its too short, but an interesting plot of a storytelling. should build up the background story more.

  • (Author)
    4) cahatomic: is it still too short? i've expanded it already, though thx anyway
  • 5) what happens next.......I WANT MORE !!!

  • (Author)
    6) danny: well, the girl died and the monster went "BURPP" and picked his teeth and the end lol hope you like it

  • (Author)
    7) hey guys, i've expanded it. mind rereading it?
  • 8) hehe added horror at the end. tomkiddo is good at storytelling. tapi jalan cerita and motive selalu hanging.

    what this story lacks actually:
    1. the motive and the background story
    2. a more detail info rather than just grosteque looking creature. hehe.

  • (Author)
    9) cahatomic: owh, thanks for pointing out what i'm lacking

Other stories by tomkiddo

Read all stories by tomkiddo