So Julie


"Julie, are we going to see each other again?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

She turned around, avoiding his eyes, avoiding the sad look he had on his face, avoiding his love. She sighed, arms crossed across her chest.

He touched her shoulders, bringing her closer to him. She refused at first but then, she let him pull her to him. He wrapped comforting arms around her and she held his hand.

"I don't know how to live without you."

"Don't say that, Jason."

"But it's true, Julie."

"I hate to see you cry" She said when he started sniffing, even though he did it as silently as possible so that she won't noticed.

"Jason?" She questioned as she turned to face him. She felt immune , watching his sore eyes, blinking like they always do just like the way she likes it, flushed face, and the emotions he had inside by the way he looked at her, love. Pure, unconditional love.

"Jason, I'm sorry I had to leave you"

"Had?" He asked and lifted his head up.

As he looked up, she could see his eyes clearly, hopeless. Just yesterday, she remembered well, they were happy, and glimmering in excitement, and full of joy.

The day when he proposed to her.

But now .. dampened by rain. "I mean, sorry, because I have to leave you"

"And I still don't understand why" He cut in. He shrugged her off and stood by the window, eyes focused on a lil birdie in its nest.

She felt horrible to see him like that. She was also afraid she couldn't live without him but she had had enough of yelling and arguing with her parents.

"Julie, he's a Christian. You can't marry a Christian"

"But ma, I love him"

"I don't care if you love him or not, you can't marry Jason.."


"Hush it, Julie. Go to your room"

"It's not fair, both of you aren't being fair. I mean, it's what I want, it's my life. So I get to decide what I want in my life, and if you don't allow me to do that, then it wouldn't be my life I'm living. It'd be your life then. All my life, I haven't had any chance to actually choose and decide what I wished to have and what I wanted. All my life, you made the decisions, you made me do that, you made me do this. And now, I can't let you choose the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. I love Jason, and I'm marrying him, no matter what you say"

And she could still remember how the slap landed on her face that night, sending her over to the sofa. The pain she felt that night wasn't because of the slap, but was because of her dad's decision.

To slap her. She was pissed at that, and she cried, and she couldn't stop crying that night. And finally she made up her mind, there're no other choices, she had to obey her parents, even though she knew, deep inside, she didn't have to. Even though she knew there were other choices for her, and Jason. But she had chose this one.

"In life, I haven't come across anyone like you before and to loose you is the last thing I've ever wanted in life. Wait, I don't even want to think of that anyway. Julie, you make me realized that love is so important, and you are my only love. You make me realized that we could go on and on and on without worrying about what's going to happen next, and what God has prepared for us in the future, and what are we going to do next, as long as we have love. Someone to rely on, someone to share your ups and downs. Someone who completes you. And Julie, in my life, it's you who completes me"

He said, not in one breath but he was groping for the right exact words to say to her, to let her know what he's feeling.


She didn't know how to reply, so she kept silent. And then, he started talking again, she could tell he was practically trying to hold back his tears, she could register it by the way he spoke to her.

"So Julie, I hope you understand that I really love you. And I believe that we only belong to each other, forever. And Julie, to loose you, I .. I , no.. I don't want that to ever happen. All I really want is for us to be happy, and of course, together because I'm really positive that we both were meant for each other. And I'm still trying to figure out why do you want to leave me, why are you lying to yourself. Julie, just by looking at you, I could tell that you're hurt, you're hurting yourself, Julie because you're lying to yourself. But why, Julie? Why? When you yourself know you love me, and I love you and when you know that you and me were meant for each other. I could tell just by staring into your eyes, I could tell that you're trying to .. I don't know.. I don't know why are you doing this. But I just want you to know that if you're going to stay with me, I promise I'd do my best for you, I promise I'd give you anything you want, I promise we'd live through life. I promise, Julie"

She cried. She cried because she knew he was right, and she knew he was sincere. She knew what he said weren't lies at all. And she knew she was indeed, hurting herself.

But it's all over now. A decision has been made and words have been said. And souls have been hurt. But she had done the right thing, and there's no way to go back.

But she will always remember, in her heart, Jason Ng, he had given her the best of himself, he had tried to give her the happiness, and he had tried to go through every ups and downs in their life, together, had given her all he ever had for 30 whole years of their marriage, with 4 wonderful kids and now he's gone because God loves him, even more than she does.

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  • 1) welcome bitterpill! glad u hv joined kapasitor!
  • 2) u r good in paragraphing. but, try not to write long dialogue in one line. I mean, the "So Julie,I understand.. bla bla". That part is too long i guess. Probably u shld describe the environment, the emotion or stress on facial experession in between. just my 1..2.. *counting coins cents
  • 3) hey welcome butterpill! ouh this is heart breaking. a few sops here and there to say that maybe jason was choked with tears or something would be great. just a thought tho.
  • 4) woooooooooooooooooo

  • (Author)
    5) thanks jojo and uculer for the comments! hihii
  • 6) i meant sobs. demit! sorry for the typo
  • 7) heart- breaking indeed. Why Jason? u know us girls admire those brothers from Sepet & Gubra kan? I kept on reminded of him while reading ur story. great description tough. but agree on the dialogues. too long in one go.

  • (Author)
    8) i wrote this way before sharifah amani least in the screen lah hehe.. actually so julie's a jason lo's song... i was inspired by the song to write this.. i chose jason coz it's a jason lo's song..and jason and julie seemed like a perfect match! hehehe... thanks miszunderstood for the comments! :D ill to keep the dialogue short tho i reaaally have a bad habit of making them long long long hehehehe..
  • 9) koolness bitterpill . looks like ur debut prose resemble to ur nick ;)) . thats life! bitterpill to swallow sometime :p kudos!

  • (Author)
    10) danggg come to think of it, most of my stories resemble my nick :)) thanks for the kudos caha! next time drop by again and gimme brownieess plak hehehehe
  • 11) wah.. teach me how to write this kind of story..

  • (Author)
    12) hey naqiah, thanks for such a warm comment.. hehe.. mmm, my only advise is just write something out of ur feelings.. dont come up with any plot or anything that could block ur mind (if it does).. if ur doing everything from ur heart, insyaAllah it will come out as genuine and others can feel it also

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